Obsessive Compulsive Email-Checker Disorder.

I have been doing nothing but checking my email lately. It has become a problem. As soon as I log out of my account, I want to log back in - and I usually give in to that desire. So that common question of what has Race been doing when she is not blogging? It has another answer. She's been giving her email long sad looks, repeatedly hitting the reload button (and mostly believing this button is a lie), and wondering if there is anyone she can email in order to get an email back.

Now, in a writer's life there are many opportunities to wait on an email. It is the second hardest part of being a writer, period (the first being the first draft). But, usually, the waiting game starts when you send out some of your work. For example, you can wait for weeks after sending out a query. You stare at your inbox waiting for a particular kind of email to appear... a request or even a rejection. Your email-checking has some purpose. You have a legitimate excuse to slump at your desk and reload.

I don't have an excuse. I stare at my email and I don't even know what kind of email I want to see. I feel like any email will do, as long as it isn't eharmony or catholic singles again (I think they sent me an email about not being alone on Ash Wednesday.... weird). I mean, it would be great to get writing news, but I don't stare at my email expecting it.

Maybe someday I'll get an email meant for someone else - drama.

Maybe someday I'll get an email from someone who hates me - I can yell back.

Maybe someday I'll get an email from someone really important - I can shock them with brilliance.

But I know it isn't the actual lack of email that is important. It is an escape from boredom. I can sit there and reload and daydream about potential news or whatever, and not have to do my lab work. Or maybe it isn't that at all - it is just some strange OCD compulsion like how I have to check to make sure I have my keys every second of the day.

But hey! If anyone wants to email me, you can be sure that I will answer!


Race