The Man in the Helmet...

... is very wise indeed.

Listen, young adult romance writers everywhere on the net who happen to find yourselves at Creare right now… a new discovery in male/female attractiveness could be your ticket to instant ease of reasoning through any phase of attraction between female main characters and their love interests! The discovery states it is a fact that a woman must be in want of a very handsome man who is both mysterious and sweet, and who rides a motorcycle. This was discovered by a male scientist who would like to remind you that most scientific truths are only supported, not proven; so your disagreement with his hypothesis is very trivial.

This scientist may have a point. The other day I happened to be at the bookstore when, in the parking lot, I saw a tall lanky fellow walking in. I felt instant attraction, and after reading this study have decided it must be because he was wearing a motorcycle helmet. He was mysterious in that I could not see his face, and he was sweet in that he waved when I demanded he cross the road without my hitting him with my vehicle. It was only because of this experience that I even finished reading the study.

The scientist believes this is a revolutionary discovery. It examines the positive relationship between mysteriousness+sweetness+motorcycle and a woman’s perception of male attractiveness. It could potentially simplify relationships for uncertain men! This is especially helpful for those who lack a necessary level of confidence - or the type who go to their roommate’s sister for dating advice without realizing the woman is in love with them and that is the reason she is always hanging around and cleaning things.

I believe it is revolutionary for a different reason. When writing a romance, it can sometimes be difficult to show the reasons for a female character's infatuation with a boy. Characters sharing a love of books, for instance, don't necessary have to fall in love, but for the sake of starting a plot sometimes that is all writers have to work with. When this study is accepted, the writer must merely place a motorcycle helmet over their male love interest's head and the question will be answered to any reader's satisfaction. It will completely explain all the terribly embarrassing and annoying attempts she makes to get the LIs attention. I found some excellent LOLcats that illustrate my own experience with the man in the helmet, as proof.

Like, oh my gosh, you are so mysterious. Why do you have a helmet on? Are you allergic to sunlight? Are you a vampire? *drools*

Or, are you a famous person? Do you have paparazzi on your tail? I will totally get rid of them for you. I will run them over with my little Ford, here.

Sadly, at this point I've scared the helmet man too much. I realize that now. Perhaps I scared him from the moment I drove my Ford right up to his motorcycle to tell him he could walk across the parking lot without my hitting him. But he has politely declined to answer my questions (Oooooh So MYSTERIOUS) and he even opened the door for me. He'll never get rid of me now.

I followed helmet man around the store, aching to see his face. I wanted to write whole series of books about him, in which I constantly taunted the readers with mere glimpses of a chiseled chin or dimple while hiding him like the phantom behind his mask of helmetiness.

But like all such encounters, it had to end. I watched him drive his motorcycle away and the ache in my heart was so strong I woke up.

But seriously, guys, the fellow was real. I almost didn't hit him.