Oscars

Ahh, the excitement. I must admit that I love Red Carpet. And then the shiny stage with its big 82 side settings so bright. And the actors and actresses in leading roles nominees walk out… looking so shiny in their own right. So tall and beautiful. And then it suddenly stops. The music and the lights dim. And… introducing not the hosts but instead Neil Patrick Harris singing and dancing. With girls half-dressed in underclothes and gents in jackets dancing along. The singing was like the best parts of last year, when the fab Hugh Jackman hosted and rocked. Finally, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin descend from above and begin hosting. First: Neil Patrick Harris can sing. Like, whoa. Secondly: you could tell Baldwin and Martin had rehearsed. Their jokes came out in that “oh, this was rehearsed so many times I’m bored saying it” way. Well, actually not all that bad. I enjoyed parts. They basically picked on all the nominees. And Efron and Lautner.




And then Awwww. Best supporting Actor, presented by Penelope Cruz. The Lovely Bones clip was chilling. There went my vote. Actually. Whoa wait. They were all chilling. 5 votes split evenly. May they all win! But my brilliant plans were foiled. The winner - Christoph Waltz for Inglorious Basterds.

Best antimated film. Please oh please let it be Up. Because it’s awesome.
Winner is - *gasp* - UP! UPPPPP! Because the dog is FABBBBBBB! So fab I messed up typing this post in Word and it thought I needed help learning about alignment and indentation. Crazy Word.

Miley Cyrus looks taller than Amanda Seyfried when presenting for Best Original Song. Is it shoes, or is Miley Cyrus taller than Amanda Seyfried?


Tina Fey and Robert Downing Jr. They just said they are coming on “after this.” (yes, I’m writing this in real time) Pretty please with an ice cream sundae topped with cherries and nuts and whatever the heck you like on your sundaes let them be on at the same time. I want to see them and laugh my head off (because they are funny, not because I take amusement at them in person).

Yes on at the same time. Thanks a lot Baldwin for taking those precious moments to introduce them away from me.

Best original screenplay. My vote: UP. And the winner is: Hurt Locker.

*pops a balloon in misery* *heart drops…* *… scarily close to dragging along my stomach*

*not really*

Sorry, I missed Short Films. I was eating ice cream and Googling Unions. Don’t ask.

But Ben Stiller coming out as an avatar character was seen. And enjoyed. Best makeup: (Avatar was not nominated): Winner: Star trek please. Star trek it is! Whoop for them!

Best adapted screenplay! My vote: District 9! Winner: Precious based on Push by Sapphire. (sad face )

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS. Monique. In Precious based on Push by Sapphire (Could we from now on just call it Precious, please? No?).

A salute to horror films coming up. I love Horror. Scary things make me happy! Can’t wait. First we must watch JCPenny models play pool. This will make men buy their products. Yes it will. Don’t doubt it. Oh and a girl in a pretty dress covered in sparkles opens a cervical cancer commercial. Fun night.

Sarah Jessica Parker (in helping to present Best Costume Design) used the word “integral.” I may be forced to love her. My hope: The Young Victoria.
And the winner is: THE YOUNG VICTORIA. O my goodness my hopes are coming true most of the time. So far Oscar night has been predictable.

Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart! They are coming next! HIDE!

Oooh peeps, he was strangely attentive to her coming down the stairs.

And they are giving horror films their tribute! I may love them now, too. Oh, Oscars, how you confuse me.
Okay, why was there a twilight clip in the middle of the horror tribute clips? Was that supposed to be horror?
SPARKLY VAMPIRES ARE NOT SCARY THEY ARE SPARKLY THAT IS ALL.

A tribute to those who have passed on. Take a moment to say a prayer for them. 

Best original score. With dancing!

My vote, Up (again). Up better win. Dancing for it is pretty, too. Great dancing for Avatar but I’m not feeling the same vibe for the music. It doesn’t reach out and grab me and since I’m sounding like a real ctitic now I’ll stop altogether. Up WINS! Yay!
Video
Best Visual effects vote: Star Trek. Real winner: Avatar. *Is officially bashing Avatar now*

Best Documentary Feature: The Cove. Dolphins FTW. If I may now remind you all: People also eat horses and dogs in other cultures and some scarily close to our own. A new documentary if you please.

Best Actor and Best Actress coming up. That is good. I’m sleepy.

Best Actor: I do not want George Clooney. I don’t. Why would I? He is only funny and cute and awesome. So who cares?

Have I said too much?

And the winner is (when they finally get to it I’ll tell you): Jeff Bridges!

On to best actress (when they finally get to it I’ll tell you).

LET IT BE SANDRA BULLOCK.

And it is: SANDRA BULLOCK! WHOOP!



Best director. May it be THE HURT LOCKER LADY WHATEVER HER NAME IS. Oh, right. Kathryn Bigelow….. KATHRYN BIGELOW! First woman to ever win. Made of win, right there.

Best Picture. I’m going to go with Up for this one. I loved that and it was so creative. Buuut… (they rushed this one, surprisingly) The winner of Best Picture! THE HURT LOCKER.

And… the Oscars are over. I stayed up for the whole thing. Wowsers. It was awesome!