Random Day ~ Why Cookies are Evil

Today we go past the curtain (tearing it to shreds as we go) to the dark side.

Yes, that's right. Creare's gone crazy in the past, but we are going even farther than that today. In fact, I estimate the dark side to be somewhere North of crazy, maybe about 375 miles or so. We'll pass through Criminally Insane on the way. It is hard to tell when criminally insane turns into the dark side, but since mountains are involved I'm of the opinion that when we are traveling up we are in Criminally Insane and when we are finally on the decline we'll know we've crossed over. And the reason for this? Well, we need to look into this cookie situation.

Now, the reason we are probing this dark and mysterious corner of the world is because, amongst numerous reasons, I have come across this video:

As you see, it is deeply disturbing.

But as you also see from this video is this tease of cookies. Why does the dark side have cookies, of all things? Why does such an innocent pastry, the like of which children all over the world come home to after school, belong to such a dangerous sect?

I think we should first consider the type of cookies. Most times you see this offer, there is featured a chocolate chip cookie. The chocolate chips are put into a basic dough and represent how spotted you spirit becomes when you begin working for the evil side. The basic dough? The word basic gives you a clue. It is like toddlers who all want to play with the same toy, just because the other kids have it. It represents conformity. Once you hit the dark side, you conform to the evil and become just another lackey in the work of darkness.

But once you figure out the symbolism, you must again ask yourself "why cookies?". We have answered which variety is chosen once you choose cookies over cakes or pies or other...

Wait. The answer is here. Cookies are sweet. And innocent. And beguiling. They are like babies you just want to pick up and hold. Can you imagine a baby as evil? No. Can you imagine a cookie being evil? No. That is why they were chosen, in order to lure the victim into a false sense of security. No reason to travel to the dark side at all. We can stay safe from here and figure out how to resist the yum. Because when you reach the dark side... when you've made your choice... the truth becomes alarmingly clear.

ps. Watch the whole video, or at least until the penguins come on. Gotta love the penguins.