Cursed.

Our house is cursed. Or haunted. Or whatever it is called when weird things happen.
And I am completely and totally serious here. Don't doubt me!!!


First (well, first I should tell you that I don't really live in a stone mansion with a tower and a creepy old tree outside the walls... so this is really second, or also, or next, or however I'll say it when I get down to it), we have spiders. Now, I don't mind spiders. Not like some girls (and, I'm sure, some guys) do. Trust me! I don't screech and rush away when I see them! But these spiders, in this house, are large, furry creatures that splatter all over the place when you kill them. Like, they are a bunch of spider-juice covered in fur.
Secondly (Oh! I said secondly!), our dogs are nuts. And this is the main point. When we moved in, we had a Jack Russel Terrier named Charlie, who was insane. He was always scared. You couldn't smile at him without him slinking away in fear. Eventually, he just ran away (and of course I'm conveniently forgetting how he was always taking off to chase rabbits and squirrels and this time just never came back. That just wouldn't be haunted-ish enough). That is case one.
Case two, our second Jack Russel, named Zoey. She came into this house adorable and sweet, and then she became a monster. She was always chasing us around grabbing at our ankles with her teeth and deciding that any surface that was carpeted was a bathroom. No matter how hard we worked to train her, she just kept getting worse and worse. Barking Barking Barking, it wouldn't stop! We gave her away (for free) but we were very nice and told the new owners that they could bring her back whenever they wanted. They never called.
So, you see, as soon as she got away from the house....
Case three: Our new puppy, Bella. She is a newfoundland. And newfoundlands are known to be big quiet dogs. Or so we thought. Apparently they are wild, biting, "go-outside"-inside, barking monsters. I tell you, this place is cursed! Animal cursed. We never had trouble with animals like this at our last house.
It is getting scary, people. Pretty soon, it will get worse. Pretty soon, we'll go mad. Just wait and see, in a year or two I'll be running around screaming and biting at our visitors' ankles. It is just a matter of time...

Race